Serenade

Nothing special, just me and my dream. I always dreaming of one day I will live in a quite place with 24 hours sound of nature. I know I think it might be impossible to acomplish, simply because me being a big city girl who always standing in the middle of a crowd. How can someone like me living in a much peaceful life?

My lecturer once told me, that if you are used to noisy surrounding when you're studying, then when you're in a quiet moment you might find it hard to concentrate to get what you have learnt to come out. It is probably my case, when I always complaining about my crowded-noisy-busy life, actually I may not that good in the reverse situation.

We always tempted by the thing we don't have and living the whole life figuring out how to get it. Maybe that what's my dream is all about. Maybe. See, I've told you before, nothing special :)

lulu, Multiplus Buncit, 15.58, July 31, 2006

Main-main

seputar ingin
perlahan peluk angin
lupakan luka
seolah hati terbuka
nikmati haru
walaupun terburu-buru

lulu, Multiplus Buncit, 16.08, 30 Juli 2006

Blowing Up

Going through so many in the last few days. Fighting my own demons, like always. I feel a lilttle bit crazy by my own feeling, it ends up blowing up in front of my face. At that time when you are with somebody, they get the efect.

Sometimes you just don't how you could collecting so many negative energy within you and when your hiding place is not enough for it, it'll just blow up. It is hard not to catch the negative vibe from suround you, that's what makes you human I know, but still...

I feel bad when it happens but at the same time it relieves me from heavy burden. But I don't want to again got it. Hope I can make it dissappear one day...

lulu, PrimaNet, 11.35, July 26, 2006

Waiting

waiting
longing
is the day over soon?
into another day gone
without you
without you

lulu, Milenia Cafe Net, Pasar Festival, 16.23, July 24, 2006

Sendiri

mengembara ke labirin pikir
menuang yang sudah aus
mengira tak ada lagi sisa tabir
menerka jalan akanlah lurus

menuai benih tumbuh ke akar
menjemput imaji liar
hingga terkapar
tak sadar

lulu, for Beng, Multiplus Buncit, 15.05, July 23, 2006

Back in Jakarta

Crazy! I feel like being slapped in the face the minute I entered the city, by the air polution, the traffic and by the new things happened within 4 days I was away.

I asked myself, why do I love the city anyway?

But only when I was away from it I got the answer. By just looking at myself in the mirror, everything I do, every move I make, every gesture of my move, it's all coming to the fact that I am a Jakartan. The identity is clear and no more unanswered question left.

Once we sat and talked about this. It amazed my foreigner friend that I can say: I'm a Jakartan, when some people might say they're Javanese. Eventhough both my parents are Javanese, but I was born in Jakarta and spend most of my life here. It is hard not to be attached to it. We are so strange to each other but at the same time we are the same as these tiny objects circling the city day by day. This is something that I didn't find in New York. Maybe my 4 months there was not enough time to feel more that what I've felt, I don't know.

So many just like me here, maybe it what makes us the Jakartan. By some strange connection, longing for the hot-poluted-king of traffic Jakarta and not being able to resist the temptation of coming back here, no matter what...

lulu, Multiplus Buncit, 11.00, July 21, 2006

Short Trip to Bali

I was scheduling lots of meeting for this week when I found out that I could come to Bali with Beng. So there I was, packing things in a rush and re-scheduling everything before flying away to Sanur, Bali.

It is hard for me to take a real vacation, something I never done for years and years. When I did some travelings, it's always about doing some projects and in between stealing some time to relax. But now, I payed for everything myself, something I never done. A vacation is a luxurous thing for me, I guess. Too many things to be done and so little time to do it.

Now, on the third day, I realize that I should try to calm down. Whatever important things out there could wait for 3 days postpone. I should not plan my day here and just go with the flow. Amazing how such a tiny change can re-charge your life...

The tsunami in West Java and earthquake in Sudirman street Jakarta yesterday were the only things that influenced my guilty feeling being here far from it. But many believes, Bali would be next since it is facing directly to the South Sea. I don't know, I hope not. Sanur is still very quiet comparing to Kuta after the second Bali Bomb, everything from hotels to gift shops and restaurants, the income is droping into 60%. Imagine how welcoming they are to me, a local tourist, whom usually comes second after the foreigner tourist.

Meet some nice environment activies here in Hotel Santai/Fair Trade Outlet of PPLH Bali. They really give me hope that all the wrong things in Indonesia are actually being corrected step by step by their humble activities. For me, they are the lights in this dark universe.

lulu, Fair Trade Outlet Sanur, 11.44 WITA, July 19, 2006

Hari Libur

sepakat menjelang sore
mendadak songsong hore
terbang memikat suasana
melewati pesisir renjana
berjalan menghitung pasir
menangkap potongan suvenir
hanya tersisa aku
bebas termangu-mangu

lulu, Sanur Bali, 11.23 WITA, July 19, 2006

Pasrah

pecah
terbuncah-buncah
bagai disengat lebah
hingga patah
aku telah
pasrah

lulu, PrimaNet Kemang, 12.12, July 16, 2006

Sembilu

serunya tualang
sepinya malam
seiring sembilu
jumpa mengharu
hingga nanti
pisah lagi

lulu, Multiplus, 15.53, July 13, 2006

Jogja part 2

Yesterday I found myself in the middle of every film events that would take place in Jogja starting next month. Somehow they all contacted me and asked for Indonesian short films. And somehow I said yes to almost all of them. So many things happened in Jogja post the earthquake last May.

After meeting with people I do work with and friends, I decided to lost myself in the middle of "Shoping". It's a place next to Taman Budaya Jogja (= Jogja Cultural Complex) where old and new books are sold. But it's not the same anymore after the local government rebuild it into more ordered place. Less good old books, I guess. The new surprise for me is the new Taman Pintar (= Smart Park) right next to it. It's for free and especially made for children complete with children amusement park. And not far from it you could find a giant screen spesially installed in the middle of "Tugu Serangan 1 Maret" (= March 1st Attack-during the war-Monument). It's for a live broadcast of the World Cup off course! Also sponsored by a product that put their banners all over the streets passing through the monument. Bizzare situation, since I walked through these places after watching contemporary music performance in Jogja Gamelan Festival inside the Taman Budaya. How could all these things happening in the same day and each of them got a huge audience. Always something for everybody here in Jogja!

If you love peace and lots of smile, you will surely find it here in Jogja...

lulu, Jogja, 10:02, July 9, 2006

Aku di Kotamu

seputar-putar kotamu
liat bergerak dijemput sana sini
hingga rasuk ke celah-celah gigi
kadang kaki enggan berhenti melangkah
buku-buku setengah harga lumat dicari-cari mataku
menyangka kamu baru melewatiku
naik sepeda motor

seringnya aku seorang diri
memetik senyum teduh di mana-mana
di sisi gang saat memilah beras
di atas becak-becak tak terkayuh
di rayuan ampuh penjual asesori manik-manik
di angkringan sambil sama-sama menyeruput teh
di depan tambalan retak-retak dinding rumah
...
aku tak ingin pernah lelap
tapi tak berdaya disergap lelah

lulu, Jogja, 00:00, 9 Juli 2006

Jogja part 1

Yesterday I came to Jogja for the first time after the earthquake. I didn't have the courage to use my camera because it was already happened in some cases that people from outside Jogja doing a "disaster tour" in the middle of their destroyed houses and insulted the victims. It caused the local people gone mad to them and even to the TV crew.

Things have gone normal and they don't need any pity. They just need your support to build their lives back, standing on their own feet again.

lulu, Jogja, 9.30, July 8, 2006

Sale

it's a show of commercial bilboards
glimering lights specially made for illusion
giant super mall advertised by a well known model
surrounding the streets of Jakarta
have you seen this?
have you been there?
sale your public space
sale your land
sale your soul
...

lulu, Multiplus Buncit, 16.37, July 6, 2006

Buku Buku Buku

Me and Beng were in Pesta Buku (= Book Fair) yesterday. Found this interesting publishing called Resist from Jogjakarta. They don't believe in Copyrights so they translate and publish books from aboard which contain any resistance against global-capitalistic-established idea, without any permission from its original publisher. I found also Indonesian books with rare subjects, like a photography book about social resistance of common people in Indonesia, who's usually never recognized by the public. Or comic magazine "Subversi" (= Subversive) with main theme about poverty that only got published once in 2004 since the people behind it never find one united voice of how to keep publishing it. Resist was the most interesting out of all other big publishers there.

Resist also produced poster of their books, pin and T-Shirt. Off course it is not visualize just a book cover but more into the main illustration and its provocative title, such as: "Tidak ada sekolah untuk orang miskin" (= There's no school for poor people). It reminded me of similar movement when I was in Holland back in 2003. It was a Next 5 Minutes Festival, held in De Balie, Amsterdam. Where there's no trade except barter and screening of films about the movement. Also in the streets of Sidney, Australia, where I bought a peace sign pin or a simple Sunday morning bazzar in Canberra.

I'm thankful that there's such movement. Makes me believe that some of us really believe in making the world a better place to live, regardless which way they chose to achieve it. I wish I always there to support them, even though I'm not really part of them.

lulu, Prima Net, 11.51, July 5, 2006